Imagine the most unattractive person you know. Now imagine them with a bad case of acne, a greasy barnet and stinky breath.
Now think of that same person again, but this time they're the lead singer in the latest chart-topping band.
Stick some boys on stage, with instruments, and they will have the girls swooning at their feet. Even if just a few months before they could not manage to pull the most desperate of girls wearing the strongest of beer goggles.
That instant increase in attractiveness is what I dub 'The Musician Effect', and it seems to be an odd phenomenon that has been around for some years. Oddly enough the band doesn't have to be chart topping, just four lads who can throw a song together seem to have this strange effect on women.
The Musician Effect starts young.
As an 11 year old in my first year at secondary school it was almost an obligatory duty to fancy at least one member of the band in the oldest year, the band name now escapes me and my closest friend but we both distinctively remember a tall, redhead drummer. If we saw him now, lacking his drumsticks, he would probably not even get the slightest bit of our attention.
My second experience of The Musician Effect came aged 15, where by intense stalking more than anything else I managed to find the lead singer of a local band and began chatting to him. The kudos gained from my friends when the immortal line: "he's in a band" were muttered was so high it even led to some congratulatory high fives.
Looking back at photos however, I realise the boy so idolised by my younger self was actually just a geeky sixthformer with unkempt hair and badly fitting jeans. It was the mic in his hand and the three mates behind him yielding guitars and a drum set that made him the boy me and my friends spent hours musing over.
I must add that nowadays said geeky sixthformer has become a good friend of mine, and grown up to become a geeky adult with much better hair and jeans that look good. He's also still playing music, and probably still reeling in the women.
Many of my friends have also swooned over musical types as a result of the musician effect. There's the boys who plays in the local pubs. The lad that gets mentioned on local radio, and one friend did the best of everyone and bagged herself a boy who has got himself played on BBC Radio 1.
Money and fame could be blamed for this instant attraction to bands. Yet none of these boys have money. They live with their parents, travel in clapped out vans and the closest they get to owning designer clothes is probably a decade old pair of Converse.
In fact the majority of musicians are neither rich nor a celebrity and still manage to use the guitar on their arm to bag them a hot blonde on the other.
Reading up on it, it seems there could be some science behind this attraction to music makers. Psychologists say women are attracted to those with musical ability because back in caveman days if a man had the time to be creative it meant they were so talented at basic survival skills they had chance to conjure up art in their spare time.
Of course, these days the line up of Arctic Monkeys don't need to have to hunt dinner and find a cave whilst writing the follow up to Suck It And See, but the fact that their ancestors thousands of years ago would have had to do this may be the reason women lust for Turner and co.
Or it just could be because a man looks incredibly sexy with a guitar in tow, and that can override any misdemeanours in his looks. And on top of that, who hasn't dreamed of rocking up at a gig and uttering the line: I'm with the band.
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