1. Send you Valentines even though you're 30. It probably even has an iTunes gift card in it.
2. Get good at texting, because they know it's your preferred method of communication.
3. Join social networks they don't understand to follow you and you alone. Maybe also your cousin.
4. Follow the weather in the city where you live so she can call and be like "hope you wore a coat today!!"
5. Adopt a pet,theoretically for herself, but really so you'll visit more. She will also then text you as the pet.
6. Help you when you have a baby in every way, whether it's visiting constantly, sending you clothes and toys, or picking up her life and moving closer to you.
7. Drop everything she might have had planned if you express interest in coming home for the weekend.
8. If you are coming home for the weekend, she'll also prepare for your visit like the pope is coming and also buy enough food to feed you for several weeks.
9. Text you to let you know she's emailed you about something (or the other way around).
10. Leave a voicemail just saying to call her back even though you'll see the missed call. Literally 95 percent of your voicemails are that (the other 5 percent are wrong numbers).
11. Send you articles that have only slight relevance to your life with urgent subject lines like, "THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO READ THIS," or, "INTERESTING"
12. Sign all of her emails to you with "love ya, mom." Bonus points if she also signs her texts this way.
13. Tell you (over the phone or text) that it's time to get ready for bed even though it's only 9:30 and also you're not 8 years old.
14. Live-text you during major TV events.
15. Get super excited when she learns a #cool thing kids say and drops it into every sentence. LOL, on fleek, etc.
16. If you work on the Internet, she'll print out your articles or your press releases or news about your app, and mail them to your grandma, so she can understand what your job is, sort of.
17. Ask you for advice about amazing things.
18. Tell you all the family gossip even when she's not supposed to.
19. Try to make sure you and your siblings hang out as much as possible even though she lives 400 miles away.
20. Hug you when something's wrong, whether it's heartbreak or you just stubbed your toe.
Follow Alie on Twitter.
Alexandra Martellmanaging editorI'm the managing editor of Cosmopolitan.com, and also the site's foremost expert on all things Friends,Harry Potter, and OG 90210.
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